Well I've got two things on my mind today.  The first is this whole bit about writing down what I shouldn't have eaten.  It is the same old same old....I hate writing these things down. To me all it does is keep my mind on 'the diet'.  I do so much better when I just go about my day and don't worry about it.  So screw the writing down thingy and let's just all relax o.k.?

Second thing...It's my BIRTHDAY!  Happy birthday to me.  I'm 61 years old today and here is what I'm feeling.  I miss my mother, I miss my son Mac, and I wish all my other children and grandchildren could be here with me today.  BUT I am happy.  This road of life can really sock it to you.  I grew up in a Leave it to Beaver world and then I left home.   Ouch...the beginning of the 70's found me married with a child on the way, the Veitnam war, the hippy movement coming on strong and also the womens right's movement starting to make waves.  What a confusing time for me.  I hated that war but was too timid, backwards (choose your own word) to jump up and make my voice known.  I looked down on, but was secretly a little jealous of the hippies.  They were so free spirited and relaxed.  At least that is what it seemed to me.  My marriage was not Leave it to Beaver, it was hard work.  I didn't know back then that all marriages can be hard work at times.  Add the womans right's movement and I'll tell you I was confused.  I spent a lot of years confused and depressed and unhappy. (Not ready to talk about all that went on) But here I am all these years later, a happy woman.  I have found the voice that I should have never lost.  I am at peace with the aging process and even find it facinating.  I realize I am really quite smart, very funny, compassionate and full of love for the human race in general.  I know I have faults so I am willing to give others room to have faults also.  The only caveate is that if I don't judge you, then don't you judge me.  Are there things that I wish had been done differently? You bet, but that is life and how we learn.  Now, I know I can rely on my own judgement and that it has value.  I won't let others push me around any more and for the most part I can even do that in a kind way. I love my family.  I have the best siblings around.  I come from a woderful heritage that makes me strong by osmosis. Wonderful aunts, uncles, cousins (that I'm trying to reconnect with).  I married into a wonderful family with all of the above statements.  How fortunate I am.  As a mother I can honestly say that my children are amazing.  I love them all so much, and while I don't suppose they know it, I have learned so very much from them, and I also hope I didn't scar them too much.:~ I also have some very dear friends that I love to visit with and be with.  I also find that I like to be alone.  It's nice to have only myself to talk to.  I also like to answer my own questions.  I'm the best physcologist I know because I know my boundaries.  I'm fortunate to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  I know that through it, I have been able to become who I am today.  The teachings of Christ are such great guidlines and while some might find them constricting, I find them freeing.  So today I thank my parents for having and raising me.  I thank my extended family for being in my life.  I thank all old and new friends for walking the path with me.  I thank my husband and children for all I have learned and become through them and I thank my Heavenly Father for the Gospel and the knowledge that I have been given. And last of all I thank ME for being such a good friend all these years.

Well this is awkward.  First I say that I'm only going to write down the things I shouldn't have eaten and then yesterday I couldn't stop eating.  It started with 3 small chocolates, and then went downhill from there.  I had an In'n'Out lunch, (burger, fries & small coke).  Still not too bad right?  Then add the 2 other diet cokes, piece of toast, and dry cold cereal as a snack at 9:15 p.m.  Breakfast and dinner were good.  So today is a new day and will try again.

 On a lighter note, Tuesday I went for a job interview ( I got the job ) and then that night I was getting ready for bed and realized that I had in two different earrings!  So if my new bosses saw it, they either didn't care or they thought I was really trendy.   Either way it works for me.  My new job will be at a new assisted living facility that is just coming on line.  Hopefully it won't take too long to become full time.  I'm excited because after 5 years it will be nice to have a change of pace.

I have a great quote by Kipling.  "Of all the liars in the world, the worst are your own fears."  Neat huh?  Think I'll hang onto that today in my quest to keep track of what I shouldn't be eating. 

Starting again

It has been a long time since I have written in my blog.  I think I have something I would like to write about.  I will catch you up on my life as I go along.  I don't lead a particularly exciting life, so read at your own risk. 

First of all I would like to say that aging isn't for sissies.  My hip is is great condition, but now I have a knee that isn't cooperating like it should.  Of course there isn't much I can do about it right now so I plug along.  I think I will let you in on my newest project.

For years I have dieted and not been particularly sucessful at it.  I don't count calories, points, carbs (although Mike and I did that once..yikes!) or anything else.  I really see no point in keeping a journal of everything I eat.  And exercise just doesn't call my name anymore.  SOOOO I have decided that what I am going to do is keep track of everything that I eat each day that I probably shouldn't have.  Sounds much easier.  Then the goal becomes having nothing to write down.  I'll probably include the time I ate it and I just might include all the things I didn't eat but wanted to.  Like the soft ice cream cone I was jonesing for today :) I must say I really don't think I'm that overweight.  Age has given me great perspective.  I have learned to like myself and think I'm a pretty great person actually.  I'm smart enough, funny, compassionate, caring, and for being 61 in September I think I look pretty darned good.

 So...today, the only things I wish I hadn't eaten were the bag of Hershey chocolate bites (cringe) and the second diet Cherry Coke.  (See it's the little things that keep the old gut in place).  Yesterday I had some chocolate and a second diet Cherry Coke.  Hmmm I sense a pattern developing already!!!!!